FrattingHard.com

One of the most common philosophies this site continually stresses is the notion that the true fratdaddy must frat hard all day, every day, with no lunch breaks. It is an undeniable truth that frat doesn’t take the day off. With this is mind, it must be remembered that frat doesn’t take the night off either.

When you go out to a bar, it is perfectly acceptable to wear khakis and the polo shirt of your choice. However, will this mean you are fratting harder than those around you? Probably not. Although this outfit is undeniably fratty, it leaves plenty of room to take your fratitude to the next level.

How can this next level be achieved? One trend that is becoming more and more prevalent in the frat community is the wearing of the traditional sports coat to bars and other social functions. The sport coat has long been a staple of post-grad fratting in both the workplace and the social scene. However, it is now staking a claim on campus, and we give it our stamp of approval.

Why is the sport coat a good choice? First of all, it implies that traditional sense of style that should be embodied in every fratdaddy. Fratty clothing styles are rarely created; they are, instead, passed down from fratty generation to fratty generation. Also, it is a great way to establish your fratitude aside from any douchebags in the fratmosphere. After limited research, we can find no evidence that such abortions of fashion such as Abercrombie or Aeropostale produce sports coats. Therefore, by wearing one, you automatically separate yourself from usual douchbaggery.

There are several good choices for the type of sports coat you wear. The most important thing is to wear a sports coat that is appropriate to your season. We regret to report that we have seen more than one fratdaddy make the grievous error of wearing a seersucker sports coach in the dead of winter. We don’t need to go into what makes a summer suit/coat and a winter suit/coat…we assume everyone has a good grasp on this. Keep the summer coats in the closet when the weather turns cool, and you’ll be OK. As for style, many are acceptable, as long as they are kept traditional and conservative. Camel hair and cashmere blazers are almost always a good pick.

In summary, before you head out of the frat castle and have a pledge drive you to the bars, consider putting a sports coat on over your solid color polo. Just don’t blame us if it gets dirty from adjacent GDI head explosions caused by your monumental fratitude.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Q: Is bicycling to class frat?
A: No. Never.

Q: Is it fratty to take a party date out to dinner before the party?
A: Yes, but we have to be careful to not hearken back days of high school…this isn’t senior prom. To alleviate this concern, the first thing to remember is that dinner is the first step in the night’s pre-drinking. This serves dual purposes. Besides getting the party started, so to speak, it also presents a great opportunity to show off your frattabbing prowess. We recommend going to eat in medium to large groups (frat packs) to create a party atmosphere wherever you decide to go.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Fratshag – Noun: Hair style characterized by front hair line “shagging” down to the eyes. Always worn free of any hair product.

ex. Hair gel is the natural enemy of the frat shag.

Rushee Beer – Noun: Beer (typically Milwaukee’s Best, Natural Light, or Pabst Blue Ribbon) that is so cheap and of such low quality that it is reserved for rushees at a fraternity party.

ex. We got so drunktaneous at the rush party that by 10:00PM we had switched from sipping Knob Creek to shotgunning the rushee beer.

Topsiders – Noun: Style of shoe made by Sperry, almost exclusively referring to the particular style known as “boat shoes”. Common shoe for anyone fratting hard in casual or business casual situations.

ex. The only bad thing about going out every night is that it gets a lot of bar funk on my Topsiders.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Esteemed fratdaddies and sorostitutes:

On December 4th, 2006, the Professors of Fratology announced plans to host a tournament that would determine what item, event, or act would be forever enshrined in the Hall of Frat. The winner of this tournament would reign over the rightful title of the frattiest thing on earth as selected by you, our valued readers.

We chose to split the tournament into four regions: clothes, food/drink, party, and miscellaneous. After closed door selection meetings with our team of fratolgists, we came up with a 33 team field that ranged all the way from the classy (formal/cocktail) to the pedestrian (Waffle House). However, the field represented a broad range of things commonly associated with fratting hard. With the contestants in place, the tournament began the first week of December. Now, in the first week of February, where there were 33, there are now only four standing. Three #1 seeds, costas and croakies, bourbon and coke, and formal/cocktail showed why they deserved their lofty starting places. Meanwhile, the sleeper of the tournament, the 3rd seeded hazing, absolutely paddled their way through the miscellaneous region. Now, these fratty four will go head to head to determine the frattiest thing of all.

Costas and croakies started out by dominating the play-in game winner, broken in white hat. They were pushed to the limit in the second round by the underrated Topsiders, but the bar funk from the premature celebrations tarnished the storied frat shoe, and Costas pulled through to see the sunlight again at the last minute. They turned around and beat frat staple polo shirt handily in the third round to earn their berth in the Fratty Four.

Their opponent, bourbon and coke, had a relatively easy road thus far. They started off by blowing out Aristofrat without ever putting their drink down. They then put the fire out of grilling out, showing everyone that without the mandatory cocktails, grilling out is nothing more than playing caveman. In the third round, they showed the world that you shouldn’t have to drink 12 of something to start getting drunktaneous, as they sent freshman favorite Natty Lite back to the discount cooler. Their road thus far has been as smooth as a cold glass of Woodford Reserve on the rocks. However, the next match may indeed be rocky, as they face what was predicted to be the juggerfrat of this tournament, the mighty Costas and Croakies.

It’s also been nothing but a party thus far for our finalist from the party region, formal/cocktail. Rap after dark stood less of a chance than Kevin Federline in a rhyming contest with Tupac, Biggie, and the original lineup of Run DMC. In the second round, formal/cocktail showed us that it’s easier to frat in a suit than it is to frat dressed as Ace and Gary from the Ambiguously Gay Duo as they breezed past swap/mixer. The third round saw a battle of friends, as formal/cocktail companion open bar stood not a chance against its older brother. Now, the question is, “Can the frattiest of all parties beat the bad boy of the tournament?”

Who is the three seed and stepped up and dominated the miscellaneous bracket? None other than hazing. What’s more fratty than dropping $500 on Hawaii and the under? Taking your frustrations out on a pledge after doing so, as shown by hazing’s trampling of sports gambling. In the second round, hazing showed us that having a Frathoe isn’t important unless you can also make a pledge wash and wax it while recited the Greek alphabet…backwards. Their third round opponent, golf, has a frat pedigree that cannot be doubted. However, we all know that it’s not fratty to carry your own clubs when you have a house full of potential new members with strong backs and a fresh pair of Newbies who can’t wait to carry them for you.

Now is time to choose your favorite and try to vote them into a position to be forever remembered in the Hall of Frat. Choose wisely, and vote vigorously. The history of frat will be made, and it all depends on you.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Fratty Celebrity of the Month: February 2007
Tom Selleck (University of Southern California, Sigma Chi)

Tom Selleck is arguably the frattiest fratdaddy that Hollywood has ever produced. Women want him, fratdaddies want to be him. Notably known as his role of Thomas Magnum in the TV hit series “Magnum, P.I.”, his two inch inseam shorts provided the model for Patagonia’s stand up shorts, while his liberally opened button up shirts made sorostitutes everywhere want to rub their hands through the frattiest of all body growths, chest hair. He is also one of the few fratdaddies to successfully wear a moustache that required combing. As seen in the above photo, he already knew proper cell phone etiquette long before this site laid out those rules. Fresh off his 62nd birthday, Selleck has shown no need to abort his post-grad fratting lifestyle. Congratulations to Tom Selleck, the FrattingHard.com Celebrity of the Month for February 2007.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Frathoe – Noun: Chevrolet Tahoe sport utility vehicle commonly driven by fratty people; term may be applied to other brands of large trucks or SUV’s

ex. Where’s a pledge? I need someone to clean the vomit out of the back of my Frathoe.

Fratlings – Noun: The underaged offspring of a fratdaddy and sorostitute

ex. My wife and I are going to buy the fratlings miniature Costas and Croakies for their birthdays.

GDI – Noun, Adjective: Abbreviation/euphemism for someone who is not in a fraternity/sorority

Since I am not a GDI, I will not be participating the university’s ultimate frisbee tournament.

Popularity: unranked [?]

The road to the Final Fratty Four has been easy for none, but it has now been paved for those that survived the Fratlite Eight. All last week’s matches were close, but produced few surprises.

In the clothes bracket, overall #1 seed Costas and Croakies put down frat staple Polo Shirt with 56% of the vote. This was truly a clash of the frat titans, but the frattiest of all the sunglasses was expected to pull through in a tight fight, and that’s exactly what happened in the end.

Many observers thought that Natty Lite, with its strong fanbase among younger fratters, would fare well against its more sophisticated cousin Bourbon and Coke. However, in the end the most common mixed drink in all of fratdom booked its ticket to the Final Fratty Four with 58% of the vote.

In our closest match of the week, Formal/Cocktail took down open bar with 54% of the vote. This was an interested match to say the least, due to the fact that these two contestants often team up to create fratastic evenings. Our analysis has shown that Formal/Cocktail moved on because even when there is no open bar at formals/cocktails, true fratdaddies are so rich that they have no qualms about paying for all the drinks they need for themselves and their sorostitutes of choice.

In another close match, Hazing was able to topple golf. Of all of the regions, miscellaneous was consistently the most unpredictable, and this match could have gone either way; it will be interesting to see whether the formal/cocktail, now crowned frattiest of all parties, will be able to defeat an aspect of fratting that is older than fraternities themselves (as Professor Stratton teaches in his class, “Fratting Throughout History”, the first recorded haze happened over 500 years ago when a group of farmers in feudal England made a new worker wear his serving wench’s bloomers to an estate council meeting).

*** VIEW UPDATED BRACKET HERE ***

Popularity: unranked [?]