FrattingHard.com

It’s all over!  Abercrombie muscle shirt meets spray tan in the finals!

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And then there were 4…4 items or activities left to fight it out to determine what the new king of the global douchesosphere will be. We don’t know what the results of this battle will be, but we do know that the battlefield will smell like Funyuns and cheap cologne.

Abercrombie Muscle Shirt met a tough challenge from cargo jorts, but there was no doubt that anything that could beat the mighty hair gel would emerge from this region victorious. This shirt, now crowned the most GDI of all clothing items, will strike fear into the hearts of the other competitors, especially when mixed with the obligatory tribal arm band tattoo borne by its wearer.

In an absolute blood bath, Mike’s Hard Lemonade beat Thunderbird like a bum in an alley that just found a $20 bill. We were actually hoping that Thunderbird would get put out of the tournament fairly quickly, as it is the only item/activity in this tournament that your Professors have ever used.

Techno rave handily took down stay home and study to win the party region. This seems only fair, as any self-respecting fratdaddy would RATHER stay home and study if the only other option is to go to a techno rave. Of course, a self-respecting fratdaddy would never find himself in that particular dilemma, would he?

Finally, in a game that surprised the hell out of me, spray tan defeated World of Warcraft. I guess the easiest thing to say is this: if you utilize either, you need to turn your life around immediately…you’re douching so hard I can smell the vinegar.

The final four matchups will be posted within 5 minutes or so.

Click Here To View The Updated Bracket

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One of our readers sent us this…some definite hard fratting potential in this video, although we’re more than worried about the Guitar Hero references therein.  Enjoy.

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Bench Warmer – Noun: Backup date that you secure prior to a formal/cocktail as a protective measure in case your primary choice cannot attend.

ex. The sorostitute that I invited to formal may have to go to her father’s company’s fundraiser on Saturday, so I’ve got her little sister lined up as a bench warmer.

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Note: These polls will close just before midnight on March 4th, 2008.

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In the party region, techno rave and stay home and study take another step towards being the most GDI activity in the world, while Guitar Hero and Rice Krispie Treats will have to try again next year. In the miscellaneous region, World of Warcraft absolutely destroyed Ultimate Frisbee. This was a match of the douchebag titans, but our readers have made it clear that the douchebaggery associated with a computer game clearly dominates the douchebaggery of any activity that you might be able to participate in while bronzing. Speaking of bronzing, don’t do it the artificial way, because Spray Tan is moving on to the next round after a defeating anime porn handily.

We’re working on the Round 2 polls as you read this. Stay tuned, as they will be up within the hour.

Click here to view the updated bracket.

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Ladies and gentlemen, it’s already been a wild week in the First Annual Douchebag Invitational.

In the clothing region, top ranked hair gel was soundly defeated by Abercrombie Muscle Shirt. We hate to see them fight, because you rarely see one without the other. The other clothing region game was a non-factor, as cargo jorts destroyed boots with the fur.

The food/drink region featured the game of the tournament so far…out of 609 total votes, Mike’s Hard Lemonade edged anabolic steroids by a margin of only 11 votes. Meanwhile, Thunderbird cruised to an easy victory over ramen noodles.

Voting is still open in the party and miscellaneous regions, so be sure to get your vote in before voting closes early tomorrow morning. Round 2 matchups will be posted tomorrow.

Unrelated note: a new monthly poll is now available for voting in the sidebar.

Click Here To View The Updated Bracket

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Note: Voting for these games will conclude at 12:59 A.M. on Monday, March 3rd

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Note: Voting for these games will conclude at 12:59 A.M. on Monday, March 3rd

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