FrattingHard.com

Due to the multitude of questions we have received and rumors we have heard, we feel compelled to address our students and loyal followers.  We will discuss many topics, including but not limited to, whether we are still the same Doug and Eric, why there is an advertising request at the top of the page, fraternity affiliations, and issues with comments.  Hopefully, all of your fears and misbeliefs will be erased and you can be confident in your study of Fratology at this website.

Complaint: This website is rarely updated.

We frat hard. When you frat hard and you are a Professor of Fratology, you normally do not stare at a computer monitor.  [Note that some of you need to so you can learn how to frat hard and spending hours on our website will increase your fratitude exponentially.]  We love practicing what we teach.  Sometimes it backfires and Doug gets thrown in jail for public intoxication while Eric is on a gambling binge in Vegas, causing us to miss teaching engagements.  In sum, things happen that keep us away from the website from time to time.  However, we will try our best in the future to have new material posted at least every two to three days from this point forward and preferably each day.  Keep checking the website each day and you will not be disappointed.

Rumor: Doug writes and does everything with the website.

Two people are in complete control of everything posted on this website – Douglas Neidermeyer and Eric Stratton.  Larger lectures are normally 50/50 collaborations.  Some of the smaller lectures range from anywhere to 100% Doug or 100% Eric.  Rarely, we receive some small recommendations from outside help.  Also, we do have a staff that consists of more than Doug and Eric, but they are primarily for administrative purposes and have a nothing to nominal saying as to what gets posted.  In conclusion, don’t bitch at Doug.  He is sensitive.  Take out your frustration on a pledge.

Rumor: Doug and Eric are not the same people that founded the website.

This is 100% not true.  We swear on our Fratology degrees, frat Bibles, mother’s graves, etc., that we are the same Doug and Eric that founded the website in 2006.  Now in the last three years, our brain cells have decreased and our livers hurt, but we are the same two fratdaddies that have brought you all previous lectures.  We will continue being the same two fratdaddies that bring you all future lectures.

Complaint: They just care about making money off advertising.

This is partially correct.  We care about people learning about the frat life too.  We are sick of douchebaggery taking over the world.  Every day Eric speaks of punching that orange spray-tanned, gel-headed douchebag in the face.  Over the years, our country has slowly turned into a Abercrombie muscle shirt and baggy jean wearing society.  Do you really think you are going to get a job colored like an orange crayon that has been shooting up ‘roids with A-Rod?  This is what we are passionate about and what we care about the most.  As for the advertising, we have thousands of visitors daily and we figured that there was no harm in getting richer especially since we will be teaching Fratology through this website no matter what.  That is called being a good businessman.  Maybe we can work fratty entrepreneurial skills into a future lecture.

The #1 FAQ: What fraternity are you in and where are you? & Are you really a GDI?

We would have an extra $1,000,000 if we charged a $1 for everytime this question, or a variation of it, has been asked since our founding.  Everyone affiliated with the website is in a fraternity.  Early in our website’s existence, we decided that we would not release our fraternity affiliations or locations.  This was decided because we do not want a segment or the population to believe we are biased towards a certain region, state, university, etc.  Rest assured that everyone on staff is from some of the frattiest chapters in the nation at some of the frattiest universities in the nation.  Also, we do not reek of poor and hair gel, so we are not GDI’s.  No GDI in the world would ever dream about having the knowledge of Fratology that we possess.

Complaint: Comments are getting out of hand.

It seems like we have received this complaint about once a month since our founding, but it has been worse in recent memory.  It has been recommended to our staff that comments are kept “clean” and “relevant” to the greatest extent possible for so many reasons that it would take another speech to address.  Because we wanted to continue comments to encourage discussion of fratty topics, we have a guy (who is in a fraternity, has been on staff since the beginning, and we treat like a pledge) to read comments and delete or not approve any unwanted ones.  Obviously, any comment with excessive profanity will not stand.  Also, comments unrelated to the post could likely be deleted too.  Finally, at least one person has been using multiple aliases. Next time we will call you out on it.  Maybe you can win the “Douchebag of the Month” Award because it is very douchebaggish to stir up a controversy with yourself on the internet.  Fratdaddies and sorostitutes, do not let this deter you from commenting.  Just keep it classy like a fratdaddy and sorostitute should.

The Future

Summertime is around the corner and we have many great things on the horizon.  As previously mentioned, we will attempt to have new material posted each day and definitely every three days.  Eventually, we will conclude the 2009 Frat Madness Tournament.  The 2009 Douchebag Invitiational Tournament will start soon afterwards.  More in depth lectures analyzing what is fratty and what is not will be conducted.  Overall, hilarity will ensue and you will receive a top-notch education at frattinghard.com.

Fratfully submitted,
Doug Neidermeyer & Eric Stratton
Professors of Fratology
frathard@gmail.com

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***Note: We’re gonna try to wrap this up soon. We apologize for the delay.

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A disturbing trend as grown across college campuses in recent months, the library flash rave.  According to our research thus far, they have primarily occurred on the east coast and throughout various parts of the midwest.  Apparently, the raves are conducted in order to relieve the “stress” of finals and occur in libraries packed with GDI’s who are highlighting their textbooks with more colors than a rainbow.  Please watch this video of a flash rave at North Carolina and try not to gouge your eyes out.

Let us begin the analysis with this question:  Are raves fratty?  The answer is a resounding HELL NO!  Do you remember your last rave date party?  You don’t?  That’s right because you are in a fraternity or sorority and you listen to good music while steering clear of drugs made with leftovers from other drugs.  Are libraries fratty?  The answer is a resounding HELL NO!  There are many other frattier locales to memorize your notes, such as a Plan A classmate’s living quarters.  You want to take a break to relieve the “stress?”  Then do a dirty dance with your Plan A instead of with some hermaphrodite in a hooded university sweatshirt.  Please help us put an end to one of the most douchebaggish campus trends we have seen in recent memory.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Our staff receives several questions each day from confused fratlings who do not seem to know the difference between a solid-colored polo and a muscle shirt.  We will periodically post a few questions of interest.  Submit all inquiries to frathard@gmail.com so we can enhance your Fratological studies.

Q1:      I was doing laundry today and ran into a dilemma that I had not thought of before.  What is the ruling on ironing your polos.  I know that it is unacceptable to look sloppy and GDI like by having wrinkled clothes but is it really frat like to pull out the ironing board and iron to press your polos?

A1:       I own an iron and ironing board.  However, I have never ironed a shirt.  That is why God created pledges and sorostitutes.

Q2:      What is the frattiest computer, a PC or Apple?

A2:       My answer to your question has changed in the past couple of years and some fratdaddies would still possibly disagree with me.  Years ago, Apple products were solely for GDI’s.  We would never recommend or even say it was okay to purchase an Apple computer.  The iPod and most recently, the iPhone, has changed that.  Those items made the frat world more open to Apple.  In fact, I have seen many sorostitutes with Apple notebooks.  Of course, if you want traditional, go with the PC.  However, we will no longer frown upon you or any other who purchases an Apple notebook.  Just don’t put the GDI Apple logo sticker they give you on your Frathoe.

Q3:      Is it acceptable to delay pledging until your sophomore year or later?

A3:       No.  Why in the hell would you do that?  Unless you have a compelling reason, such as, “I was in a drugged induced coma freshman year,” then you need to pledge as a freshman.

Q4:      Can [fratdaddies] go to a tanning bed to speed up the process so you can be “bronzed” well before summertime?  It just sucks to still kind of be pale in June.

A4:       No, for fratdaddies?  This must be a joke.  Have you heard of a beach, pool, or golf course?  If you do decide to go to a “bed” or “salon,” please go inactive on the way and seek a bid from your favorite sorority.

Popularity: unranked [?]