Confratulations to Clayton Giddens of Commerce, Texas, the January 2011 Fratdaddy of the Month.  He frats hard in the face of adversity because he “attends a school full of GDI’s.”  Clayton’s hobbies include watching pledges wash his Frathoe and maintaining his fratdrobe.  As you can see from the picture, he knows how to look the part of frat in his COAST fleece vest.  Confrats again to Clayton Giddens.  He will receive a free Winyah polo from COAST (http://www.coastapparel.com/) for winning this prestigious award.

Note:  Due to changed circumstances, future winners of the Fratdaddy/Sorostitute of the Month award will not receive a free winyah polo from Coast.

Morning of Kickoff:

Frat - Call in your side bet, total bet, and 32 prop bets for the big game
GDI - Call in your acne medicines for the big meeting

Two Hours before Kickoff:

Frat - Discuss why the the big game hasn’t been the same since the Bud Bowl stopped
GDI - Discuss why no females have submitted their RSVP for the meeting

During the Game:

Frat - Drunkenly piss away $500 because you bet with a guest that Green Bay/Pittsburgh would score a TD on 4th & 23
GDI - Begin crying because one member stated that William Schatner is a better actor now than when he was on Star Trek

After the Game:

Frat - A fratdaddy begins backing blackjack, more 100+ proof drinks are enjoyed, and the plan becomes an A+
GDI - The Club President says the meeting is adjourned because it is a school night

Confratulations to Cole Frederick of Texas Christian, the December 2010 Fratdaddy of the Month. Frederick’s picture was taken moments before getting on the bus for his fraternity’s Christmas cocktail. He can be seen wearing a fratdaddy staple blazer, fratty necktie, and an old school college cap, showing that he really does not care how he looks, another fratastic quality. As requested, he cropped out the sorostitutes that were accompanying him, but he assures us that they were both without a doubt Plan A’s. Confrats again to our, according to him, “not so humble student,” Cole Frederick. He will be rewarded with a Winyah polo from COAST for winning this prestigious award.

Since over 75% of our award entrants the past two months have been too drunktaneous to remember the rules, we decided to re-post a quick summary of said rules:

1.) Be “friends” with Doug (insert link to FB page) on Facebook.

a.) This is to verify that it is really you.
b.) Therefore, we WILL NOT accept submissions via e-mail or any other mode of communication.
c.) You MAY NOT submit an entry on behalf on another person.

2.) Send Doug a Facebook message.

a.) The message must contain the subject heading “Fratdaddy/Sorostitute of the Month Application.”
b.) Write a one to two paragraph description about why you should win the award.
c.) Enclose of picture showing ONLY YOU at your frattiest. You may have a GDI or pledge use “photoshop” to “crop” any unwanted people out of the picture. Again, make sure that ONLY YOU are in the picture.

3.) Wait for Doug or Eric to send you a reply Facebook message thanking you for applying.

a.) Doug and Eric will send you a message within a few days if your entry conforms to the contest rules.
b.) If you do not receive a message within a few days, then your entry violated at least one of the contest rules or Doug and Eric are in a self-induced coma.

4.) Doug and Eric will select the winner at the end of the month and post an article about the winner the following month. The winner will receive a fratastic Winyah polo from COAST.

i.) have a Plan A accept your date request;
ii.) get drunktaneous during pregame at the frat castle;
iii.) order a pledge to pick up your Plan A and take her to the party destination;
iv.) Plan A arrives at party to find your shirt off while you are hitting on a Plan C;
v. ) end up shacking with Plan C or dominant hand.

It should be obvious that this route does not lead to optimal success. If your date is a Plan X monstrostitute, then that is one thing to blow up that situation like she does after eating Taco Bell. But being the exceptional student of Fratology that you are, you will be with a Plan A and you want to roll out the red carpet so to speak. If you have a date party then the best thing to do before the party is . . . you guessed it, frattab and get drunktaneous on an actual date. We are not talking about getting the early bird special at Applebee’s either. We are talking about fine dining at one of the best restaurants in your college town. There are numerous reasons for doing this. It shows that you are a fratty, but yet classy individual. It allows you to simultaneously get drunktaneous and frattab. It shows that you have a knowledge of fine wine. It allows your date to see you before you reach the mental state of braking liquor bottles over pledges’ heads. Primarily, it impresses your date to the point where she want to bypass the party and head straight to your room at the frat castle. Beginning the next day, word will spread that you are a great date to a party. In summary, do not fall into the trap of screwing up your shacking opportunities with top tier sorostitutes by getting too drunktaneous before you see them. Increase those shacking opportunities by simply taking them on a true date.

ex.  I have to do something about this psychostitute; she tracked me down to the bars last night, cut the tires on my Frathoe, and then came in the bar, made a scene, and made me spill my Woodford & Water.

Remember:  keeping one of your dad’s business cards with you at all times is often helpful in “situations” such as these.

Garbage Money (noun) – cash that is crumbled and shoved into one’s pocket instead of being properly inserted into one’s money clip or wallet

Ex: I did not want to support the bartender’s meth addiction, so instead of tipping, I converted my $14 of change into garbage money to throw away at some point during the near fratastic future.

Walk of Pride (verb) – the walk performed the morning after a successful night of shacking where one struts with sense of pride and attempts to notify as many as possible of the shacking accomplishment

Ex: After shacking with [insert Plan A sorostitute's name], I voluntarily made the walk of pride back to the frat castle and scheduled a conference call regarding the previous night’s accomplishment with everyone I know, including my parents.

When we get everything back running smoothly, remind me to make Eric tell you how he ended up with half a bottle of Pinot Noir down the front of his brand new Coast button up shirt….and how the dry cleaners actually got the stain out.  It was truly a fratabulous miracle.

* Special thanks to Mitch Sharrock of Baylor for submitting this photo *