FrattingHard.com

Morning:

Frat – Still asleep due to massive hangover, but wake up for 2 minutes to place wagers on morning games
GDI – Get up early to work the early shift at Arby’s

Afternoon:

Frat – Watch football, drink scotch on the rocks, smoke cigars, tell family stories of fratting hard
GDI – Study for finals

Dinner:

Frat – The turkey you killed with your Frathoe while driving home from the bars
GDI – Spam from Dollar General

Just like mom used to make, before she left home to join a hippie commune

Family at the Table:

Frat – All men have names which end in Roman numerals
GDI – All members have titles which begin with “step”

Nightime:

Frat – Sleep with a sorostitute
GDI – Sleep with a sibling

Popularity: 43% [?]

In the absolute closest game of this tournament, the #1 seeded Costas and Croakies were on top when the clock struck midnight, and the gutsy Topsiders are out of the tournament. This match-up was of special significance before the first vote was cast, as many tournament observers communicated to us in confidence that the winner of this game, even if it were the lower ranked Topsiders, would be the odds on favorite the rest of the tournament. Thankfully, this was one match that lived up to its hype. We refreshed the vote tally page at the stroke of midnight, and the final score was Costas and Croakies 60, Topsiders 58. It doesn’t get much closer than that, fratdaddies and sorostitutes. If there’s going to be a better game the rest of the tournament, it will surely be one for the ages.

The next closest matchup saw the end of the line for sailing, a #8 seed who knocked off the #1 seed in the miscellaneous bracket, but in the end fell to the fan favorite golf. As one commenter on this game remarked, sailing is one of the frattiest activities on the planet, but the wide appeal of golf saw it through to the next round, as it took the victory 63-36.

Although grilling out put up a good fight, in the end bourbon and coke was simply too much to handle in the food/drink region. The fratdaddy’s beverage of choice was challenged early, but pulled away in the end by a total of 58-40.

The most lopsided matchup of the second round thus far was in the party bracket, where heavily favored formal/cocktail put on its suit, pre-drank for the party, and still showed up in fine form to demolish swap/mixer 70-24. In the end, sorostitutes in cocktail dresses triumphed over sorostitutes dressed up like biker chicks or in togas.

Keep a watch on FrattingHard.com, as the next set of second round match-ups will be posted tomorrow evening.

Popularity: unranked [?]

After four or more years of fratting hard as an undergraduate, you will find yourself making the arduous transition to the “real world.” Even though leaving your alma mater may feel like an overwhelming obstacle, it is no excuse to completely abandon your fratty ways. The years following college can be the frattiest years of your life if you learn the complex art of “post-grad fratting,” a process that will ensure your continuation of fratting hard and never going home. To get you started, today’s lesson is a primer in the basics of living the frat life after your college days are over.

Post Grad Vehicle
Your Frathoe served you well as an undergraduate, but does getting your degree mean that it is time for a new ride? When it comes to the type of vehicle you choose to drive, you should retain the same standards you had as an undergraduate while adding a dash of luxury. The most important part of this process is making a step up to a better vehicle than you had when you were in school. To accomplish this, make sure that whatever you drive communicates your status as a fratty young professional. This can not be accomplished by going to work in your old Frathoe that saw so many beer runs, road trips, and curious stains from fellow fratdaddies whose late night Waffle House did not sit well with their previous liquid intake. There are two roads which you can go down to end up at your fratty destination. The first of these is the luxury car. Nothing screams fratty young professional like a brand new BMW 325i, Lexus ES330, or Mercedes Benz C230. As you work your way up the leadership ladder, you should then take road #2. This class includes fratty standards such as the Lexus LS430, Mercedes Benz S500, and BMW 745i. If you are a married sorostitute, with or expecting fratlings, a luxury SUV is a must. Acceptable models include the Mercedes M Class, BMW X5, Range Rover, or Lexus LX470. However, remember…you are still a sorostitute and not a soccer mom. Oversized sports stickers featuring the name(s) of your fratlings is completely unacceptable just as having more than one fraternity/sorority sticker on your college car was unacceptable.

Post Grad Attire
The post grad wardrobe has just a few subtle changes from the one you wore in college. College staples such as the Polo shirt is still perfectly acceptable outside the office. However, your newfound responsibilities bring you new challenges in selecting a fratty wardrobe. Acceptable office attire includes Brooks Brothers button downs, diagonally striped ties, and custom tailored suits. The latter is absolutely vital to the fratty office ensemble; remember: fratdaddies do not wear cheap suits. A good rule of thumb is that no suit you own should cost less than $500. JC Penney suits are not frat. Whenever possible, work in frat staples such as seersucker in the summer months. For casual Fridays (which are more appropriately titled “Keep It Frat Fridays”) you should break out your best polo shirt choices along with khaki pants and Topsiders.

Post-Grad Housing
The days of the Frat Castle, apartment, or rental house are over once you have fratted across the stage and received your degree. We cannot stress this enough: one of the frattiest things you can do as a young fratty professional is buying your own house (note: “buying your own house” can also include your dad buying a house for you and putting the deed in your name). The fratty home should include ample parking space for your new frat wheels, the largest television you can fit through your door, and a large area for hosting social functions. The latter should include, at minimum, a fully stocked wet bar that will make your 6th year senior friends prefer your home to the usual local bars. Although your rental days must definitely come to an end, buying your own luxury condo will suffice if you decide to forgo purchasing a full house. However, this must be a purchase…the days of rental are over. It is a total frat move to buy a condo, live in it for 2-4 years, and then turn it over for a huge profit with which to buy your own personal Frat Castle.
The preceding lesson just scratches the surface of the complex subject of post grad fratting. Additional lessons in the future will further your understanding of this subtle art. These lessons will include, the family, the occupation, and the post grad fratty vacation.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Television
Frat: 60 Inch HDTV
GDI: 25 inch modified computer screen for online gaming

Video Game Console
Frat: Xbox 360 or PS3 with the following games only: NCAA Football and Tiger Woods 07
GDI: Nintendo Wii with custom made controller body suit

Game Room
Frat: Poker Table/Pool Table
GDI: Magic: The Gathering Table

Prized DVDs
Frat: The Godfather (I and II), Animal House, Old School, Tombstone, and Wedding Crashers
GDI: Complete Star Wars and Lord of the Rings Sets, Star Trek, Various anime

Cable Package
Frat: Digital cable with TiVo
GDI: Basic cable with VCR

Popularity: unranked [?]

Ladies, the professors of www.frattinghard.com are Title IX supporters and we are here to take care of your fratting needs. Like fratdaddies, sorostitutes must take special care regarding their looks. Any mistakes made in the following categories will prevent any woman from ever stepping foot in a frat castle. If you wish to frat hard, abide by the following guidelines set forth below:

Hair: Unlike with fratdaddies, many different hairstyles are acceptable for sorostitutes in the frat world. The key is to keep your hairstyle conservative. Highlights are allowed, as long as they are properly done. The so-called “skunk look,” as seen below, must be avoided. To ensure the proper sorostitute look, you shoud extend the practice of frat tabbing to the beauty salon. The more money you spend at a reputable hair stylist, the better. No amount is too high to make sure that you are able to reel in the frattiest of the frat daddies.

Make-up: Make-up should be worn in public at all times. The last thing you want is a fratdaddy to see you without make-up, which will guarantee that you will not be asked to any fraternity function by him or his fratty brothers anytime in the near future. When it comes to make-up, a sorostitute should avoid looking like a whore, which is just a step shy of face painting, as you can see from the following picture. Any extreme colors should only be worn for certain fraternity or sorority social functions, such as 80′s parties or pimps n’ hoes swaps/mixers. Finally, lip gloss is a must for any sorostitute. When that time of the night comes around when your frat daddy wants to seal the deal, dry lips are definitely a deal breaker.

Tanning: A sorostitute should have a nice, healthy tan. Bronzing is the preferred way to achieve the perfect tan. Unlike frat daddies, it is permissible for a sorostitute to enter a tanning salon, but avoid visiting the salon so much that you end up looking like a Christmas turkey that’s been cooking at 350 degrees for 5 hours.. There is such a thing as being too tan. Here’s a test: if it’s December, and you have sunburn on any part of you body, you’ve been tanning too much. As for spray tan, it is never permissible. Remember our day-glo orange friend from Part One of this guide. You do not want to look like your tan is fake. Although there are some establishments that may be able to provide you with a quick fix tan that looks half way natural, this is a shot in the dark which should be avoided. If you really care about being on the speeddial of frat daddies across campus, you’ll take care to avoid this type of quick fix that will leave you looking like one of the two bit wanna be’s that hangs out at the local coffee shop waiting to pick up guys after their ultimate frisbee tournament.

Body Piercings: Piercings are simple for sorostitues: one hole in each earlobe. Should you already have a piercing of another area of your body, stop wearing jewelry in that area immediately. For navel piercings, there is no other way to put this: this isn’t high school, this isn’t senior trip, and this isn’t the Redneck Riveria. Put a pearl in each ear and let any other holes in your body that you weren’t born with heal up. The holes on your body that were God given are sufficient for any respectable frat daddy.

Jewelry: Pearls and small diamonds are highly recommended jewelry items that can easily be worn by sorostitutes on a daily basis. Even though you may not feel like putting on the pearls for your 8 o’clock class, doing so is just a part of being a sorostitute. Yes, the girl that sits beside you may have come to class in no makeup, no jewelry, and wearing pajama pants…but you came wearing pajama pants with makeup and pearls. This communicates to the frat daddies on campus that you had a great time the night before, but you’re still all class, and are ready to go again tonight. Cheap and costume jewelry should never be part of a sorostitute’s attire. These items tell everyone in the room that you knew you should have worn some jewelry, thus giving you a chance to frat hard, but you took the easy way out and went home instead.

Following these rules will ensure you a lifetime of fratting hard with the frattiest of frat daddies. Before going out in public, think to yourself, “Would a fratdaddy let me meet his parents looking like this?” This is important, because his dad is probably a judge or a CEO of a major company. If the answer is no, re-read this guide and make the appropriate changes. If the answer is yes, then keep doing what you’re doing and go frat hard with no lunch breaks.

Popularity: 1% [?]

Our first matchday saw three of the four #1′s fratting so hard that their opponents’ heads exploded before they ever knew what hit them, while the other ended up going home. If nothing else, this should serve as a wake up call for the #2 seeds as they go up against some very formidable opponents from the ranks of the #7 seeds. Now it’s up to you to decide who will live on in their effort to be crowned king of all things frat, and who will take their hair gel and go home.

*** UPDATE ***

It’s all over.  Go vote in the new matchups.

Popularity: 1% [?]

The first round of the FRAT MADNESS TOURNAMENT is all over, and likewise, it is all over for one of our number one seeds. While Croakies/Costas, Bourbon/Coke, and Formal/Cocktail all crushed their bottom-ranked opponent, Skoal, the number one seed in the miscellaneous region, was stunningly upset by Sailing. Will Sailing be the Cinderella story of this tournament? Hopefully not, because we all know that Cinderella went home.

Click Here For The Updated FRAT MADNESS TOURNAMENT BRACKET

Popularity: 1% [?]

With the coldest months of the year upon us, we are presented every day with an opportunity to frat hard via our chosen winter wardrobe. A key part of any fratdaddy’s/sorostitute’s winter wardrobe is the jacket. But what is the frattiest brand of jacket to wear? Today we will take a look at four popular brands and investigate the pros and cons that each brand presents. We will also mention some winter warmth methods that constitute near-douchebaggery and should be avoided at all costs.

What to wear:

Columbia: Although not quite as popular as some of the other options on this list, these jackets are still a viable alternative in the fratty wardrobe. However, their often lower price tag presents a problem; namely, this makes them less exclusive and therefore more worn in the community at large. However, their classic designs and utilitarian nature usually prevent them from being picked up by douchebags who search for flashier and gaudier styles.

Mountain Hardwear: A more recent entry into this battle, MHW has come on strong as an alternative to the more widely recognized North Face and Patagonia brands. Their prices are near those of North Face, which lets you buy with the confidence of knowing you’ve spent a sufficient amount on your purchase, and our recent studies have shown that these items are virtually unknown to the GDI community.

North Face: The pros of the North Face jacket are obvious. Simply put, it is the staple of the fratty community when it comes to winter wear. In fact, many unfratty people who know little more about fratology have caught on to the fact that North Face is fratty. However, this presents a definite problem, as the product’s popularity has led to many “copycat fratters” who will buy a North Face jacket and mix it with other clothes and behaviors that soil the good name of the brand. It is still acceptable as an option, but be aware that it is no longer the tried and true sign of one fratting hard as it used to be.

Patagonia: With a name that is almost as strong in the fratty community as North Face, this brand has been strengthened by the fact that, despite its popularity, it has not caught on with nonfratty types at the same rate as North Face. With this in mind, you can buy your Patagonia choice with confidence while knowing that your purchase will serve you well as you frat hard in the winter months.

Now, before moving on to what not to wear, we must say a word about putting stickers on your vehicle that contain a logo of any of the above brands (or any clothing brand at all, for that matter). This is a scourge that has, unfortunately, seriously infiltrated fratdom. As we said in Frat v. GDI #3: Vehicle Edition, there are only two stickers that should be on your vehicle: your fraternity letters and your university name OR logo. Simply put, placing clothing brand stickers on your vehicle is a classic example of trying to hard to frat hard. You may think that you are going all out, but in actuality you are just going home. Now, on to what not to wear…

What Not To Wear:

Leather Jackets: We don’t even have to explain this. The only time when a leather jacket is fratty is at a biker swap/mixer or sorority theme party. Otherwise, leave the leather to your brother who depledged and joined a biker gang.

Hooded Sweatshirt: Just as North Face is a staple of the fratty community, hooded sweatshirts are a staple of international douchebaggery. The more pedestrian violation of this hard and fast rule are hooded sweatshirts with your university name or logo. Although this is a lesser offense, it is still forbidden. The greater of this evil is a hooded sweatshirt that comes from “The Evil A’s”…Abercrombie, Aeropostale, and American Eagle. Of course, you don’t have one, because you don’t shop there, right? If you can’t answer that question in all confidence, go to your closet immediately and expunge it of these items that are abhorred by the eyes of the Frat Gods.

Popularity: 5% [?]

There are certain phrases in the English language that, by their very nature, should be heeded with extreme consistency on every occasion in which they are uttered. Such phrases include, “Help me, I have accidentally set my underwear ablaze,” “Get the gun, there is a mountain lion in my bedroom,” and “That looks really infected.” Thankfully, the aforementioned phrases retain their potency because we rarely, if ever, hear them unless the situation they describe is currently occurring. Unfortunately, some other phrases are no less worthy of attention, but their propensity to be casually used in every day conversation tends to deny them the respect they deserve in every instance.

One example of such a phrase is, “Frat hard or go home.” On many occasions, everyone in the room will be fratting as hard as their frat gland will allow (in such situations, the frat gland is producing the maximum amount of fratdrenaline that the body can handle; no spoken phrase can serve to force one to frat harder than one is already fratting), and yet this phrase is needlessly interjected into the conversation. The danger of this is, of course, that the phrase will not be observed when its true power is needed.

“Frat hard or go home,” is not a phrase meant to scorn. It is a phrase meant to, literally, save lives. We have all seen evenings that escalate to the point where fratdrenaline can almost be viewed in the air, and such situations create an environment that is plagued with danger for those not fratting as hard as they could physically endure. Just as driving 35 MPH on the interstate causes a hazard to both the driver and those around them, uninspired and inadequate fratting can lead to disaster when one meets the tidal wave of frat that is crashing into the room. Therefore, “Frat hard or go home,” serves to inform all present that the fratoscity of the room has reached critical levels, and those not fratting hard may be swept up and destroyed due soley to their lack of fratitude.

I am wholly unable, and my vocabulary is insufficient, to describe the horror that can occur from inadequate fratting in a frat rich environment. I feel that only a graphical display of the mayhem that light fratting creates can successfully impart the severity of my warnings. With this in mind, I submit to each of you the following link. In this woeful situation, the young victim is not only not fratting hard, but he is rather engaged in activity sure to drain even the most greedy savings account at the First International Frat Bank. I warn you, this is not pretty; however, it is of the utmost importance that each of you view the video. It might just save your life.

http://www.collegehumor.com/movies/1657942/

Do not make this young man’s mistake. Remember the acronym FRAT:

Figure out how fratty the situation you are party to is
Respect the power of the fratitude you observe
Apply your frat knowledge to raise your fratitude to an acceptable level
Tap your frat reserve account if you feel that additional emergency fratitude is necessary.
I implore each of you, frat hard or go home.

Popularity: 3% [?]